Treatments · Emotionally Focused Therapy
In-person Emotionally Focused Therapy in Mississauga and online across Ontario, for adults and couples. An emotion-focused, attachment-based way of working with the patterns that keep repeating.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is one approach we may draw from at Anchor & Bloom. It is an emotion-focused, attachment-based framework, originally developed for couples and now used widely with individuals as well. Both Katelyn Matias, RP, and Daniella Simas Medeiros, RP (Qualifying), are trained in EFT and integrate it where it fits the work in front of them.
The starting point of EFT is simple. Emotions are not noise to be managed away. They carry information about what we need and what matters to us. When we can name and stay with the emotion underneath a pattern, the pattern usually starts to make sense, and shifting it becomes possible.
What this is and is not
EFT is a structured, evidence-informed way of working with emotion and attachment. With couples, it helps partners see the cycle they keep falling into, the move and the counter-move, and the softer feelings driving both. With individuals, it focuses on the emotions and unmet needs sitting underneath anxiety, self-criticism, or recurring relational patterns. It is a framework, not the single answer, and we draw on it alongside other approaches.
It is not a communication-skills workshop, and it is not about learning scripts. The work is slower and more honest than that. We are not trying to talk you out of feelings or coach you toward the right line. We are trying to understand what the feeling is protecting and what it is asking for.
When this fits
The argument changes shape but the cycle stays the same: one partner pushes, the other withdraws, and both end up feeling alone. EFT works with the cycle itself, and the fear or longing underneath each side of it. See also our couples therapy.
For partners who have grown quiet with each other, who are managing logistics but not really meeting anymore. EFT helps name what got lost and rebuild emotional contact at a pace that feels safe.
Reading a partner's tone for trouble, fearing you are too much, or bracing to be left. When anxiety lives in connection, the emotion-focused lens often reaches it. See also our anxiety therapy.
For individuals who keep ending up in the same place across different relationships or situations. EFT looks at the emotional pattern driving the repetition, not just the behaviour on the surface.
After betrayal, a hard season, or a long stretch of disconnection, EFT offers a careful way to process the hurt and slowly restore trust, without rushing past what happened.
For one person, EFT can work with the harsh inner voice and the softer, more vulnerable feeling it tends to cover. Often paired with our self-esteem therapy.
Learn more
Everything below is optional. Open any section to go deeper on how EFT works at Anchor & Bloom, who it fits, and what tends to change over time.
The idea behind EFT
Emotionally Focused Therapy was developed by Dr. Sue Johnson and Dr. Les Greenberg, and it sits on a simple premise: human beings are wired for connection, and a great deal of our distress is about connection going wrong, with others or with ourselves. Emotions, in this view, are not the problem. They are the signal pointing toward what we need.
The attachment frame matters here. The way we reach for closeness, brace against it, or shut down when it feels unsafe usually traces back to what we learned about connection early on. EFT treats those responses as understandable, not as flaws, and works with the emotion driving them.
For couples, this means looking past the content of the latest argument to the cycle underneath it. Most distressed couples are not fighting about the dishes. They are caught in a loop where one person's protest meets the other's retreat, and both are quietly afraid of the same thing: that the connection is not safe.
For individuals, the same lens turns inward. We look at the emotion underneath the symptom, what the anxiety is protecting, what the self-criticism is afraid of, and we work to let that softer, truer feeling have a voice. Many clients find it useful to understand their patterns through this emotion-and-attachment lens, as one framework among several.
In the room
EFT has a loose arc, though no two courses of therapy look the same and the boundaries below are illustrative rather than fixed. Length of therapy varies significantly depending on goals, history, and current needs. Some people work with us for a season, others for a year or more.
De-escalation. Early on, the work is about slowing the cycle down. For couples, that means naming the loop you keep falling into so it stops feeling like you against each other and starts feeling like the two of you against the pattern. For individuals, it means getting enough safety to notice the emotion underneath the reaction.
Restructuring. The middle of the work is where the softer feelings get room to come forward, the fear under the anger, the longing under the withdrawal. For couples, this is where partners begin to reach for each other from a more honest place. For individuals, it is where the relationship with your own emotion starts to change.
Consolidation. Toward the end, the work is about making the new patterns durable: noticing the old cycle starting and choosing a different move, trusting that connection can hold. We pace all of this together and revisit it often.
Fit
A good fit for
Not the right primary fit for
If you are unsure whether EFT is the right next step, the free 15-minute consultation is a good place to ask.
Signals of change
Change in EFT tends to look less like a problem disappearing and more like the emotional ground shifting underneath it. Some of what clients describe over time:
Who offers this
Registered Psychotherapist, CRPO #10340
Founder of Anchor & Bloom. Trauma-informed, attachment-based work with adults and couples. She integrates EFT alongside IFS, ACT, CBT, and somatic-informed approaches.
About KatelynRegistered Psychotherapist (Qualifying), CRPO #19387
Warm, collaborative work with adults and couples across Ontario. She draws on EFT alongside attachment theory, CBT, psychodynamic, and somatic approaches.
About DaniellaEFT is one approach we may draw from in therapy. It pays close attention to emotion and to the patterns that play out in close relationships. The idea is that emotions carry information about what we need, and that the cycles couples and individuals get stuck in usually make sense once the feelings underneath them are understood. Both Katelyn and Daniella are trained in EFT and integrate it where it fits.
No. EFT is widely associated with couples work, and it does fit relationship distress well, but the same emotion-focused lens is useful for individuals too. For one person, the work often centres on the emotions and unmet needs underneath anxiety, low self-worth, or recurring relational patterns. We use it for both, depending on what you bring.
CBT works mostly with thoughts and behaviours, the loops of thinking and acting that keep a pattern going. EFT works with the emotion underneath, and with how that emotion shapes connection to yourself and others. They are not in competition. Many courses of therapy here draw on both, depending on what is most alive in the room.
No. The work moves at a pace you set. EFT slows down rather than rushing toward raw emotion. We notice what arrives, name it gently, and stay within what feels manageable. You are never pushed into anything you are not ready to look at.
Yes. Emotion-focused work translates well to secure video sessions. For couples, we work with both partners on the same call, tracking the cycle between you in real time. For individuals, the format is the same as any other online session, conversation-led and paced to you.
Individual sessions are $160 to $180. Couples sessions may differ in length and fee, which we confirm before booking. Most extended health benefit plans through Canadian employers cover Registered Psychotherapist services. Confirm with your insurer first. Psychotherapy is exempt from GST/HST as of June 2024.
For plan-by-plan coverage details, direct billing notes, and how to submit a claim, see Fees & Insurance.
Further reading
For an introduction to Emotionally Focused Therapy and the attachment science behind it, the work of Dr. Sue Johnson and the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy is widely cited in the field.
For general information on relationships and mental health, the Canadian Mental Health Association is a good starting point.
For information on the regulation of psychotherapists in Ontario, see the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario.
Related services
Where EFT is most at home. For partners working to de-escalate the cycle and rebuild connection.
For anxiety that lives inside close relationships and has a clear emotional charge.
A more thought-and-behaviour-focused approach that often works alongside EFT.
CRPO #10340. Founding clinician, trained in EFT for individuals and couples.
RP (Qualifying). Draws on EFT in warm, collaborative work with adults and couples.
A 15-minute consultation to ask questions and decide if the fit feels right.
Sessions are virtual province-wide, with local support for:
Toronto · Mississauga · Oakville · Burlington · Hamilton
