You started by helping with a few things. A lift to an appointment. A phone call to sort out a bill. Now your lunch break is spent arranging the next appointment, and your evening plans depend on whether someone else can check in.
If caring for a parent is taking more out of you than you expected, you can ask for support while you work out what needs to change. You don’t have to arrive with a decision about their care or a neat explanation of how you’re feeling.
Start with what has changed
It may help to describe an ordinary week rather than decide whether you’re coping well enough. What are you doing now that you weren’t doing six months ago? What keeps getting postponed in your own life? Who notices when you need a break?
The answer might involve practical work, but it can also include being the person who remembers everything. Keeping track of questions for the doctor, checking whether a sibling has called, and being available for the next problem can be part of the conversation too.
You might write down a few things you would like someone to understand. Those notes can help you explain your week to a family member, a care provider or a therapist.
Make a request someone can respond to
“I need more help” can be true and still leave a family unsure what happens next. You might choose one task to discuss, rather than try to settle the entire arrangement in one conversation.
For example:
“Could you take responsibility for Thursday’s appointment, including confirming the time and arranging transport? I can’t keep leaving work for it.”
There may be limits to what others can offer. Distance, money, work and your parent’s preferences all matter. If an essential task needs to change hands, plan how it will be covered rather than leaving a gap in necessary care. The care team may be able to explain what practical support to ask about.
Leave room for your parent’s view
You may want help and also worry that asking for it sounds like criticism. Your parent may have their own fears about accepting support or losing independence.
One possible opening is:
“I want to understand what’s most important to you. I also need us to look at what I can realistically manage.”
These are examples of ways to begin, with room for your own words and circumstances. They won’t fit every family. If speaking up could put you at risk, you can seek individual support to think through a safer approach rather than trying the conversation on your own.
Questions about your parent’s medical treatment, consent or decision-making authority belong with the appropriate health or legal professional. A discussion about the emotional load doesn’t have to settle those questions.
An Ontario resource for those conversations
The Ontario Caregiver Organization announced its free Prepare to Care series on October 21, 2026. It runs monthly from October 2026 to July 2027 and is open to anyone in Ontario. November’s topic covers difficult conversations with the person you may care for. The announcement explains how to sign up and receive a preparation checklist.
You can explore it whether caregiving is already part of your week or something you’re preparing for. Practical caregiver resources and support for your own mental health can serve different needs.
What could you bring to therapy?
You could begin with, “I love my parent, and I’m finding it hard to say what I can and can’t do.” Or, “My siblings and I keep having the same argument about who’s responsible.”
At Anchor & Bloom, you can ask about individual support for stress or whether family therapy fits the concern you want to discuss. If you are considering family sessions, ask who would attend and how the therapist would work with the situation you’re bringing. You can also ask about support for yourself even if other family members aren’t ready to take part.
If stress is persisting or affecting daily functioning, CAMH recommends seeking professional help. Your family doctor or nurse practitioner is also a place to discuss health concerns.
A free 15-minute consultation can help you ask about fit, fees and appointment options. It is separate from a therapy session; our consultation guide explains what to expect. You can start with the part of the week that’s become hardest to manage.